200+ Best Short Funny Quotes for Friends

Short Funny Quotes for Friends: Hy Friends If you are searching for Best Short Funny Quotes for Friends then you are in the right place because in this article you will find all types of Top Short Funny Quotes for Friends. Love is the most adorable and fantastic feeling in the world. No one can explain the feelings when he/ she in love. Here you will find Best Short Funny Quotes for Friends which you can use for Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and others like Stories, Caption.

Short Funny Quotes for Friends

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Short Funny Quotes for Friends

1. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

2. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

3. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than a fat person.

4. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

5. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

6. Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.

7. If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

8. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.

9. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

11. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

12. God is creative, I mean…just look at me 😛

13. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

14. Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

15. I love my job only when I’m on vacation. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

16. We live in an era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

17. Facebook account for sale, Friends included.

18. Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.

19. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

20. The winner of the rat race is still a rat. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

21. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

22. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

23. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten dies.

24. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

25. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

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26. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?

27. Without ME, it’s just AWESOME.

28. There are no winners in life… only survivors.

29. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

30. I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

31. I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

32. Dogs have mastered. Cats have staff. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

33. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.

34. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

35. After (M)Monday and (T)Tuesday, even the week says WTF !!

36. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

37. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

38. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

39. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight! – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

40. We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.

41. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

42. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

43. Eat right, exercise, die anyway. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

44. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

45. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

46. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

47. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

48. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

49. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

50. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

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51. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.- Short Funny Quotes for Friends

52. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!

53. We live in an era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

54. Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

55. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

56. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

57. Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

58. God is creative, I mean…just look at me – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

59. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours

60. I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

61. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

62. I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

63. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

64. Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

65. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

66. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

67. That awkward moment when you realize that ‘Deleting History’ is more important than ‘Creating History’ nowadays. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

68. If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

69. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

70. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

71. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

72. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

73. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

74. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than a fat person.

75. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

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76. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

77. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

78. When does a woman say WHAT? It’s not because she didn’t hear from you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

79. How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

80. Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

81. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

82. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

83. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

84. Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.

85. I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button

86. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

87. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

88. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera. -Short Funny Quotes for Friends

89. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

90. I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”

91. The reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend.

92. Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

93. I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier than me. I still have much to learn.

94. There’s no such thing as addiction, there are only things that you enjoy doing more than life – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

95. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

96. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

97. She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!

98. Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

99. I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

100. I look at people sometimes and think… Really? That’s the sperm that won.

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101. Math: Mental Abuse To Humans

102. Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

103. I’m Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.

104. Lazy Rule: Can’T Reach It. Don’T Need It.

105. Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.

106. Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.

107. Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.

108. Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

109. With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.

110. Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.

111. I Can’t Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me?

112. If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel.

113. Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’m Trying To Be Mad At You.

114. Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.

115. Be Warned: I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.

116. I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments.

117. Interrupt My Sleep & I’ll Interrupt Your Breathing.

118. I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card.

119. As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.

120. There’S Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason.

121. Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.

122. My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day….So I Went Home.

123. When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.

124. Kiss Me If I’m Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right?

125. I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.

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126. Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.

127. If You Tickle Me, I’m Not Responsible For Your Injuries.

128. Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’T Sorry. You Are Safe.

129. Please God If You Can’T Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.

130. My Mom Said,” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed. -Short Funny Quotes for Friends

131. Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.

132. The Four Words A Girl Most Want To Hear. I Bought You Food.

133. I Love My Six Pack So Much. I Protect It With A Layer Of Fat.

134. If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.

135. I Don’t Have A Bucket List But My Fucket List Is A Mile Long.

136. An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough.

137. It’S Better To Be Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring

138. You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’ll Train You.

139. Oh! I Am Sorry. I Forgot. I Only Exist When You Need Something.

140. I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.

141. If I Had A Dollar For Every Smart Thing You’Ve Said I’D Be Poor.

142. I Will Slap You So Hard That Even Google Won’T Able To Find You.

143. I’m Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.

144. If People Are Talking About You Behind Your Back, Then Just Fart. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

145. Remember If We Get Caught, You Are Deaf And I Don’t Speak English.

146. I Am Currently Experiencing Life At The Rate Of 15 Wtf’S Every Hours.

147. Dear, I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger…. But I Love You Now.

148. All My Life I Thought Air Was Free….Until I Bought A Bag Of Chips.

149. Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life.

150. I’ll Be Back In 5 Minutes But If I’m Not Just Read This Message Again.

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quotes on craziness times with friends

151. Sometimes You Just Want To Throw Fertilizer At People So They Grow Up.

152. When I Was A Kid I Used To Think The Moon Followed Our Car Everywhere.

153. If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.

154. If You Say You’Re Cooler Than Me….Does That Make Me Hotter Than You?

155. My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit.

156. Sleeping Is My Drug. My Bed Is My Dealer & My Alarm Clock Is The Police.

157. My Goal This Weekend Is To Move Only Enough So People Know I’M Not Dead. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

158. I” M Going To Bed Means I’M Going To Lie In Bed And Go On My Phone.

159. I Wish I Lived In A World Wher Mosquitoes Would Such Fat Instead Of Blood.

160. God Made Every Person Differently. He Got Tired By The Time He Got To China.

161. Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite.

162. I Don’t Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do…. It’S On April 1St.

163. I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.

164. I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’m Mad…Yes, I’m Mad!

165. The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.

166. Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed?

167. I Don’t Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.

168. I’m Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.

169. During The Day, I Don’t Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.

170. That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

171. Don’T Think Of Yourself As An Ugly Person. Think Of Yourself As A Beautiful Monkey.

172. I Smile Because You’re My Family. I Laugh Because There’s Nothing You Can Do About It.

173. Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Problems. I’m Tried Of Solving Them For You.

174. Sometimes, I Forgot How To Spell A Word So I Change The Whole Sentence To Avoid Using It.

175. I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script.

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176. Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.

177. Sometimes I Wish I Was A Bird….So I Could Fly Over Certain People & Poop On Their Heads.

178. Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It It. But Run Immediately After Saying It.

179. Chocolates Come From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. What Makes It A Plant…. So Chocolate Is A Salad.

180. I Don’t Have To Worry About Getting Kidnapped, They Would Bring Me Back In Less Than An Hour.

181. The Biggest Difference Between Men And Women Is What Comes To Mind When The Word Facial Is Used.

182. My Idea Of A Good Morning Is One When I Open My Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, Then Go Back To Sleep.

183. I Hate It When People Are At Your House & Ask ” Do You Have A Bathroom ?” No, We Pee In The Yard.

184. They Say That Love Is More Important Than Money, But Have Ever Tried To Pay Your Bills With A Hug? – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

185. People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.

186. No. I Am Not Single. I Am In A Long Distance Relationship Because My Future Boyfriend Lives In Future.

187. It Takes Real Skill To Choke On Air, Fall Up Stairs & Trip Over Completely Nothing. I Have That Skill.

188. People Have Become Naughty On Whatsapp. Even Married Women Have Put Their Status As ” Available “.

189. When Guys Get Jealous, Its Actually Kind A Cute. When Girls Get Jealous World War Iii Is A About To Start.

190. It’s Funny And Hilarious When Wife Thinks Shes Punishing Her Husband By Not Talking To Him For Days.

191. Everything Happens For A Reason. But Sometimes The Reason Is That You’Re Stupid And You Make Bad Decision.

192. Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’t Laugh At Yourself, Call Me….I’Ll Laugh At You.

193. When I Text You A Massive Paragraph And You Reply 40 Minutes Late With ” K “….Are You Asking To Be Punched? – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

194. I Wish Falling In Love Has Traffic Light Too, So That I Would Know If I Should Go For It, Slow Down, Or Just Stop.

195. When you’re Stressed, You Eat Ice Cream, Cake, Chocolate & Sweets. Why? Because Stressed Spelled Backwards Is Desserts.

196. Whenever I Have A Panic Attach I Put A Brown Paper Big Over My Mouth…And Drink All Of The Vodka Inside It Seems To Help.

197. I Changes My Password To “Incorrect” So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect “.

198. When I Call My Parents & They Don’T Answer It’S No Big Deal But When They Call Me & I Don’t Answer Its Like To World War Ii.

199. People Often Say Laughter Is The Best Medicine, But They Neglect To Mention That An Overdose Can Cause One’S Ass Too Fall Off. – Short Funny Quotes for Friends

200. Never Get Jealous When You See Your Ex With Someone Else Because Our Parents Taught Us To Give Our Used Toys To The Less Fortunate.

201. Certain people are not meant to fit in your life, no matter how much you want them to be.

202. Sometimes I keep my feelings to myself because it’s hard for someone else to understand them 🙁

203. Pretending like you don’t care about your past & acting like you’ve moved on, Hurts!

204. People with status don’t need status. – 

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