150+ Top Amazing Funny Whatsapp Status in English

Funny Whatsapp Status: Hy Friends If you are searching for Best Funny Whatsapp Status then you are in the right place because in this article you will find all types of Top Best  Funny Whatsapp Status in English. Love is the most adorable and fantastic feeling in the world. No one can explain the feelings when he/ she in love. Here you will find the best Funny Whatsapp Status which you can use for Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and others like Stories, Caption.

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Funny Whatsapp Status

1. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

2. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

3. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than a fat person.

4. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

5. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

6. Life is short… smile while you still have teeth.

7. If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

8. That awkward moment when you realize that “deleting History” is more important than “creating History” nowadays.

9. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments

11. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

12. God is really creative, I mean…just look at me 😛

13. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

14. Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

15. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

16. We live in an era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

17. Facebook account for sale, Friends included.

18. Google just called… Google said, “Someone is looking for you”.

19. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

20. The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

21. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

22. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

23. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten dies.

24. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

25. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

26. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, isn’t it?

27. Without ME, it’s just AWESOME.

28. There are no winners in life… only survivors.

29. Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

30. I have all the money I’ll ever need – if I die by 4:00 p.m. today.

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Short Funny Whatsapp Status in English

31. I don’t have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.

32. Dogs have mastered. Cats have staff.

33. By the time you learn the rules of life, you’re too old to play the game.

34. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.

35. After (M)Monday and (T)Tuesday even the week says WTF !!

36. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

37. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

38. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

39. I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

40. We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t know.

41. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

42. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

43. Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

44. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

45. The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.

46. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

47. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

48. By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

49. No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

50. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

51. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

52. Some people should just give up at engineering or medical. Like I have!

53. We live in an era of smartphones and stupid peoples.

54. Doing nothing is a very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.

55. I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

56. AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.

57. Just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.

58. God is really creative, I mean…just look at me 😛

59. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours

60. I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

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61. Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

62. I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

63. God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

64. Whenever I have a problem, I just sing, Then I realize my voice is worse than my problem.

65. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

66. Women should not have children after 20. Really… 20 children are enough.

67. That awkward moment when you realize that ‘Deleting History’ is more important than ‘Creating History’ nowadays.

68. If you can’t Change a Girl…..Change the Girl.

69. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…

70. I think my iPhone is not working. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.

71. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

72. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

73. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

74. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than a fat person.

75. Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.

76. life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

77. Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

78. When does a woman say WHAT? It’s not because she didn’t hear from you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

79. How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

80. Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will you please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.

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81. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

82. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

83. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

84. Seeing a spider is nothing. The problem is when it disappears.

85. I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button

86. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

87. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

88. You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

89. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

90. I want to change my name on Facebook to “No One,” so when I try to add people, it will say, “No One wants to be your friend.”

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91. The reason why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. I don’t have a girlfriend.

92. Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

93. I find it so inspiring to watch people lazier than me. I still have much to learn.

94. There’s no such thing as addiction, there are only things that you enjoy doing more than life

95. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

96. I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

97. She is so fake that she should have two Facebook accounts; one for each face!

98. Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.

99. I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.

100. I look at people sometimes and think… Really? That’s the sperm that won.

101. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

102. Hey, there Whatsapp is using me.

103. Girls use photoshop to look beautiful… Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

104. You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it…

105. Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

106. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

107. My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death…

108. Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

109. Save water – Drink beer!

110. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.

111. Always wear cute pyjamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

112. God is really creative, I mean just look at me 😛

113. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

114. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’

115. I wake up when I can’t hold my pee in any longer.

116. My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

117. Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…

118. My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

119. I’m jealous of my parents… I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs!

120. Here my dad comes on WhatsApp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…

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121. Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.

122. Friends are forever until they get in a relationship 😛

123. C.L.A.S.S – Come late and start sleeping 🙂

124. People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at the gym.

125. Relationship Status: Looking for a FREE WiFi connection.

126. It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.

127. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

128. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

129. We are WTF generation… WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀

130. Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

131. This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.

132. Wow, now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.

133. I and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…

134. Good Morning, let the stress begin…

135. Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!

136. Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!

137. Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.

138. Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.

139. Sometimes I just wish I’ could fast forward the time to see if, in the end, it’s all worth it.

140. Move on…

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Funny Whatsapp Status

141. People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.

142. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten dies.

143. It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.

144. Love is that state of mind when a Karan johar film becomes bearable.

145. Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is the last one.

146. Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else.

147. You don’t have to like me… I am not a Facebook status.

148. The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.

149. Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.

150. At last, got to know how to lose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 🙂

151. Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

152. Whatsapp status is loading…

153. Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.

154. Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’

155. I was not busy to be online… I had just given up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as ‘Free Recharge’

156. I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition!

157. I am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

158. Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.

159. Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

160. After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.

161. Act crazy, don’t regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! 🙂

162. I will kill you with my awesomeness…

163. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

164. The best way to lie is, to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.

165. I shouldn’t have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it!

166. Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!

167. Silence doesn’t always mean you’re mad… sometimes it just means you have nothing to say.

168. I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!

169. That awkward moment when the awkward moment get even more awkward!

170. Totally available! Please disturb me…

171. Nothing is lost until mom can’t find it.

172. Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.

173. Single doesn’t always mean available…

174. Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.

175. I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.

176. the best one night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol

177. When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensational!

178. I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.

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