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Funny Status for Boys in English
1. When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard“, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what”.
2. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
3. A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
4. I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
5. The elevator to success is out of order. You will have to use the stairs, one step at a time.
6. I and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. – Funny Status for Boys
7. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
8. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
9. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
10. If at first, you do not succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
11. When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is an inspiration.
12. We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
13. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
14. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I have finished two bags of M and Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. – Funny Status for Boys
15. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
16. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
17. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
18. If you do not know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
19. Age is of no importance unless you are a cheese.
20. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
21. It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
22. The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
23. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I could not give it up because by then I was too famous.
24. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.
25. Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
26. Luck is what you have leftover after you give 100 per cent.
27. The key to success is not through achievement but enthusiasm.
28. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. – Funny Status for Boys
29. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
30. I cannot afford to waste my time making money.
Funny DP for Boys
31. You cannot wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
32. Do not worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
33. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get a warm feeling that it brings.
34. I did not fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
35. If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
36. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You are on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who will decide where to go.
37. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
38. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.
39. Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
40. Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
41. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. – Funny Status for Boys
42. I have met a lot of hard-boiled eggs in my life, but you – you are 20 minutes.
43. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavour.
44. Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body.
45. Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover.
46. People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily.
47. As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I believed all those books belonged to her.
48. Lucille Ball taught me that the best comedy need never be cruel to be funny.
49. If you are going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
50. The great thing about getting older is that you do not lose all the other ages you have been.
51. Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date.
52. I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.
53. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.
54. When science finally locates the centre of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they are not it.
55. Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. – Funny Status for Boys
56. Running a multimillion-dollar business can feel like a piece of cake when facing a defiant and dramatic teenage daughter.
57. I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
58. You must learn from the mistakes of others. You cannot possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
59. I have learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the ways he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
60. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
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61. Try walking forward while looking over your shoulder and see how far you get. The same goes for life. Look forward!
62. For some, life is like a river. It becomes overpowering, uncontrollable and sometimes wild.
63. A turkey never voted for an early Christmas.
64. It is funny, I spent the first half of my life desperately trying not to become my mother, and now I am spending the second half of my life desperately hoping to become half the woman that she is.
65. Life without Christ is like a vacuum cleaner without the electrical cord plugged in. It has no power to suck up the dirt. – Funny Status for Boys
66. Life only delivers to people that create their postal code.
67. The successful know that the road to success is always under construction; they understand the roughness of it and never expected it to be smooth.
68. Yesterday, I forgot how a friend hurt my feelings. Today, I forgot what I did to make him mad.
69. Eliminating procrastination from our lives is like trying to stop a moving train; it’s not easy.
70. Life is short. Eat dessert first.
71. When you mention you have a teen daughter to someone, facial expressions turn sympathetic, as if you have just disclosed a serious medical issue.
72. Chairs were created because someone, somewhere, wanted to solve a big problem: sitting on rocks causes sore bottoms.
73. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
74. It is a funny thing about life you get back what you put into it.
75. An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it. – Funny Status for Boys
76. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
77. A boat does not go forward if each is rowing his way.
78. The only time I do not have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.
79. You will be richer in the end than a prince if you are a friend.
80. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
81. When you pray to be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain do not complain about the mud!
82. Do not judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seed that you plant.
83. Laughter is a tranquillizer with no side effects.
84. Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.
85. The world is plentiful with honey, but only the humble bee can collect it.
86. Marriage is when a man loses his bachelor’s degree And women get her master’s degree. – Funny Status for Boys
87. Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.
88. So, if you feel a smile begin, do not leave it undetected, let’s start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
89. All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
90. A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
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91. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you do not mind, it does not matter.
92. In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.
93. To be successful, regardless of the field, one needs to be a participant in the field of battle, rather than a spectator.
94. A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them.
95. To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.
96. Goal setting is similar to travelling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will reach the destination because you know its address.
97. If you do not understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.
98. You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it…
99. He has a heart of gold – only harder. – Funny Status for Boys
100. Our snooze button does not have the power to delay the sun from rising in the morning. Time simply does not wait for anyone.
101. Time, indeed, is a sacred gift, and each day is a little life.
102. Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.
103. No day should pass without something being done.
104. In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
105. One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade.
106. Never think you have reached success for when you do then you start the slide down.
107. If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.
108. Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
109. The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
110. Humour is the most powerful thing that uses laughter as its base to chase your blues away.
111. Do not carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the other guy’s out dancing.
112. If a book about failures does not sell, is it a success.
113. Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. – Funny Status for Boys
114. If I would know I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
115. Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
116. Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar.
117. In a child’s lunch box are a mother’s thoughts.
118. A business like an automobile has to be driven, to get results.
119. There is no strength in numbers when you are wrong.
120. Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend’s forehead.
Funny Status on Boys
121. The ability to change one’s views without losing one’s seat is the mark of a great politician.
122. Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.
123. Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.
124. You cannot expect to meet the challenges of today with yesterday’s tools and expect to be in business tomorrow.
125. Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
126. Sing with the showers and dance with the flowers.
127. Problems are opportunities in work clothes.
128. I think you can destroy yours now by worrying about tomorrow.
129. A concentrated mind will pierce a rock.
130. Humor is a great way to lighten any atmosphere, and laughing is a surefire way to brighten your outlook. – Funny Status for Boys
131. Just knowing is like having a bunch of things in the attic – sure you will use it someday but in the meantime, it just clogs up space!
132. What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight of the dog.
133. Live within your harvest.
134. The answers to life’s biggest questions are not found on Google.
135. We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately.
136. We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken.
137. Read a lot when you are on vacation, but nothing that has to do with your business.
38. There is no experience better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people.
139. It is a funny old life man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
140. Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process.
141. If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you have not laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something fun.
142. You cannot stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
143. Funny, the moment you get someone else worrying, you stop worrying yourself.
144. Remember the adage; you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
145. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
146. Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
147. Laughter has no foreign accent. – Funny Status for Boys
148. It is not the men in my life that counts.
149. Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.
150. Life is an onion which one peels crying.
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151. The only free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
152. Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire.
153. May your life be like toilet paper. Long and useful.
154. We did not lose the game, we just ran out of time. – Funny Status for Boys
155. People will sit up and take notice of you if you will sit up and take notice of what makes them sit up and take notice.
156. A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
157. I would like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off.
158. Despite the cost of living, it’s still popular.
159. I do not have a lifestyle. I have a life.
160. The longer they wait, the better they like it.
161. Insults are the arguments used by those who are in the wrong.
162. Misfortune does not come with a bell on its neck.
163. The difficult thing about children is that they come with no instructions. You pretty well have to assemble them on your own.
164. The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you are still a rat.
165. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
166. Complain a lot and people will hear you but not listen.
167. Marriage is forever. It’s like cement.
168. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
169. God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them. – Funny Status for Boys
170. The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
171. Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once.
172. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
173. The first great gift we can bestow on others is a good example.
174. Twins are so practical. It’s always nice to have a spare.
175. As you grow older, you will find that the only things you regret are the things you did not do.
176. Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
177. Young people tell you what they are doing, old people what they have done, and fools what they wish to do. – Funny Status for Boys
178. Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums and those in cemeteries.
179. You aren’t wealthy until you have something money cannot buy.
180. To give alms is nothing unless you give thought also.
Swag Status for Boys
181. If you wish to live long you must be willing to grow old.
182. Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they do not have for something they do not need.
183. It is not anything to find no starting place in the world. You just start from where you find yourself.
184. The money will not buy you happiness, but it keeps you in touch with your children.
185. Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust.
186. Wrinkles are ditches that the gods have dug for our tears.
187. Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
188. Life’s a tough proposition but the first hundred years are the hardest.
189. Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.
190. The only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes. – Funny Status for Boys
191. You are not as young as you used to be. But you are not as old as you are going to be.
192. I have changed my mind. Yeah, does it work any better?
193. Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.
194. Wisdom likes not a to chance.
195. Too many captains run the ship aground.
196. A good smile is a magic pill that can make you feel good in every circumstance of life.
197. Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humour?
198. There are three sides to every story: yours, his and the truth.
199. Life is the only game where the object of the game is to figure out what the rules are.
200. I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things are not what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
201. My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.
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